***Duane Filer's Latest***
*Duane Lance Filer's Latest*
If women can have a “girls’ night out” and chic lit reading groups/lunches; what about a “Dood Food” happy hour? “Word Food for Doods” is a guy’s night-out buffet comprised of 3 short stories; 2 funky one-act plays; and 2 essays that sprout about important men banes. A plus for the ladies – these stories will help you understand your man’s warped mind 😊. ***A bonus is the 23 eye-popping/old-school/black/white/brown illustrations that help bring flavor to each story; you will be amazed at how these old-fashioned pictures bring life to the characters*** Here’s a brief glimpse of each story:
“Kemal’s Last Laugh” – Three white men – Americus Barton, Ellery Gent, and Young Pye- are experienced mountain climbers and decide to take on Mt. Kenya (Nelion Peak) in Central Kenya East Africa—the second largest mountain in Africa. They enlist Kemal, a strange/local guide, to help guide them up the mountain. What they don’t expect is Kemal’s talent at descending the mountain.
“Streople” – or “Street People.” A day in the life of a bored State worker in bustling/busy downtown Los Angeles, and how he relishes meeting the various characters he encounters on his daily lunch visits to various parks and downtown sites. With his trusty journal in hand, the working man bumps into regulars like the Street Urchin, Preacher Man Poor, the Fashionable Ladies in Heels with the Gent, and of course the General. All in a day’s work on the streets of downtown Los Angeles.
“Closet Miserable” – True story from the author, a dedicated State worker whose job entails taking complaints from the public- as he pursues his dream of one day becoming a writer; all while helping to raise his two young kids and keep his energetic working wife happy. The writer introduces us to various characters that inhabit his Monday through Friday work week – such as the Man from M.O.O.C.H. and the bothersome Priscilla Pennebody who complains about everything; even the writer’s two kids complain about the burnt grilled-cheese sandwiches he makes for dinner. The writer finally realizes life is what it is – and he is actually blessed to have a wife, home, kids, and a job – he will just have to push through daily life and continue to pursue his written word dreams.
“The Tattle-Tale Grin of Kid Spade” - The story of Kid Spade the Blade, a black cowboy passing through Yall City, Nevada. Denied gun ownership because of his color, Kid Spade becomes adapt at protecting himself with knives in his holsters! It seems because of his good looks, cocked hat, different afro/hair-do, and his reputation for not backing down from the white establishment -he has encounters in every town he visits. In Yall City, he meets the Sheriff (better known as The Dude); the city’s mortician Charleston Mums; Tight-Titt the Kitt (the very Mae West-like owner of the city’s lone saloon, The Kitt); and the only two black souls in Yall City, bartender Latimore Dooty and his beautiful daughter Blanche Dooty – who dances and sings for the inhabitants and passersby who drop into The Kitt. Enjoy the play padners!
“jazz junkies” – I love music of all genres! This play recounts an important time in the life of piano player Hemp Leeks, leader of the quartet jazz troupe the Congregation, who is offered possible fame and fortune if he agrees to leave his longtime band and bandmates and sign on with Horatio Minks, the brash band leader of the popular Basin Funk Choir. Hemp created the band Congregation which also features Doubtin’ Thomas- rotund and funny bass/trumpet player; Drummer- drummer for the band; and Linus – boastful multi-instrumentalist who plays guitar, sax, and anything else needed. Leamas Blair owns the bar/nightclub – called the Congregation – where the band plays nightly and he helps to mentor these jazz musicians who he affectionately refers to as his “jazz junkies.” Horatio Minks is in need of a new piano player….is in town and hears about Hemp Leeks….and offers him the opportunity to join his band and hit the road for the big time. Does Hemp take the offer and leave the band and bandmates he started? Or does he stay faithful and remain with his original bandmates and grind together? What decision does Hemp make?
“t.s. etiquette (a.k.a. the toilet seat chronicles)” – An essay for both men and women on possible remedies on the age-old fight on which is the correct procedure for men after leaving the bathroom – should the toilet seat be left up or down? Both sides have legitimate arguments. THIS IS AN ARGUMENT FOR THE AGES! The writer offers possible alternatives to resolving this issue.
“Dedman Speeks – the Hellcatcher” - Dedman Speeks is a certified hellcatcher – caught hell from every angle you can think. He explains, through poetic justice, the different types of hells we men go through; I’m sure men can/will relate and recognize where he is coming from. WOMEN MAY NOT FIND DEDMAN AND HIS POETRY RELEVANT. We men own Dedman a debt of gratitude for speaking up for us……and we hope he survives after his personal expose’.
Riveting Story Traces the Exhilarating Journey of a Bullied Black Boy
Author creates an imaginative, fun-filled world of an innocent, inquisitive young black child who doesn’t let his unique -yet distinctive name- or childhood bullying, deny his rights to discover the good in the world and pushes him to pursue his dreams.
CARSON, Calif. – Have you heard the phrase: “You don’t know Diddley Squatt?” Most people have heard this phrase. Well, “The Legend of Diddley Squatt – A Novella from a Brother Fella” answers that question! This book proves that regardless of your birth condition (poor? color of skin? strange name?) – through perseverance and love from others – one can learn to succeed.
Diddley Squatt, a black child, was born in Rundown City, Mississippi in a rundown year, to a fly-through town father DeAngelo and a rundown mother, Jackie. Given up on and left to be raised by his popular Grandma, affectionately known as Momma Squatt (once married to Doodley) - the owner of the Copp-A-Squatt Inn, the best-known hotel/brothel “this side of Mississippi.” Diddley is bullied as a youngster because of his obviously weird name and home life circumstances. Young Diddley could care less; he develops a thick skin as he is raised by his grandmother and the ladies of the Copp-A-Squatt, along with the goo-gaggle of johns, including famous musicians, military soldiers on leave, politicians, and others who visit the hotel/brothel. It is through the nurturing lessons and mentoring of the various and strong women at the Copp-A-Squatt, that leads Diddley through his early life. The Copp-A-Squatt is the only hot spot in Rundown City, its parlor hosting the best-known jazz and blues musicians of the day. The place is jumping on every Saturday night! Although the male johns and musicians may mentor him and guide him through his growing musical talent on the guitar and harmonica, it is the ladies of the Copp-A-Squatt who always answer his questions at the end of the day. Witness some of the amazing adventures that help shape his life; how he learns of the mystical powers he’s blessed with by way of a magical harmonica gifted to him; how he can make himself small and fly on the back of his ladybug friend LadyM; how animals trust him enough to talk to him, especially his best friend/” kindred soul” Sly- a flying squirrel; how his famous blues musician friend, Robert Johnson, takes him to the Crossroads one scary dark night and he meets up and defies evil (a.k.a. The Devil) with goodness. Read on as Diddley grows to a handsome young man and catches many a young girl’s eye. After high school graduation, it is time for Diddley to spread his wings and explore life outside of Rundown City. He makes the tearful move and takes the Back-Up Rundown City train to the big city – and of course, he has his best friend Sly the squirrel, in his guitar pouch, to help guide him!
At just 141 pages, The Legend of Diddley Squatt is a quick and easy read and could easily be just the first book of many detailing the colorful escapades of Diddley Squatt. Please come experience Diddley – you won’t be disappointed!
LongTALES for shortTAILS
“LongTALES for shortTAILs” is my children’s short-story collection that totals 7 interesting stories. To date, I have completed and self-published 2 of the stories, with my 3rd storybook out by this summer 2015. The stories are about real and imagined stories that kids from 2 – 13 years-old will enjoy. “LongTALES for shortTAILS,” written by Duane Filer, that will leave your kids enthralled and excited. Each book contains eye-popping color illustrations by Jay DeVance III. Below is a brief summary of these three storybooks.
Fastjack Robinson Book Summary
Fastjack was coming to spend the summer with his grandrabbits- Grandpaw and Grandmaw Robinson, in Bunny Junction. Fastjack Robinson had moved to Hare City, but always loved coming back home to visit his beloved grandrabbits as well as his childhood friends House Mouse and Stooley the Pigeon.
After a big welcome-home supper of carrot stew and rabbit tea, Fastjack was informed by the squeaky voiced House Mouse that the notorious, mischievous Grabbit Rabbit was wreaking havoc in Bunny Junction by stealing pies and other carrot items from the families in Bunny Junction.
Little did the Grabbit Rabbit know that, like a young Jackie Robinson, Fastjack Robinson was the fastest rabbit in the world! Somebody in Bunny Junction had to stop the notorious Grabbit Rabbit. So Stooley, House Mouse, Grandpaw, and Grandmaw devised a plan to catch the Grabbit Rabbit. It’s Fastjack to the rescue!
Ms. Missy Book Summary
Who out there doesn’t remember their first pet? Bishop’s first dog turns out to be the beautiful diva Missy. Plus, Missy soon has a surprise for the family.
“Ms. Missy – Bishop’s First Dog” is a true story concerning my family’s first pet – Ms. Missy the diva dog!
Follow along as Bishop, oldest child of the Morrow household, learns the ins and outs of owning and taking care of a dog. Bishop has daily duties of feeding and caring for Ms. Missy; bathing her in the Morrow backyard with younger siblings Maxine and Kelvin; and training Missy in the ways of the pet and human world. Time passes, as both Missy and the Morrow family grows with additional kids. One day, Missy disappears, and young Bishop feels it is his fault because he scolded Missy too hard. Bishop feels terrible, and fears she has run away for good. When Missy is finally found – she has a surprise of a lifetime for the Morrow family!
Duncan and the Chocolate Bar
The year is 2050. The space shuttle to the moon has been a reality since 2030. There have been scientists, explorers, politicians, entertainers and celebrities; just about every type of scientific type person has been or has plans to go to the moon………but no ordinary people have been included? Black, white, brown, or yellow….no regular ordinary people have been to the moon. Finally, in 2050, the USA government has decided it is time to send some regular folks to the moon. A contest was held to pick three lucky souls to be sent to the moon. Each person selected could bring a friend. And the best part is that the government claims once the lucky winners get to the moon, there would be a surprise waiting for them.
Young Duncan (Dunk) Sylers, 11 years old and from the city of Compton, California, enters the contest. You guessed it – Young Duncan wins and decides to take his younger cousin Drew on the exploration of a lifetime. Follow along as Duncan, Drew, and the other winners (including a wanna-be hippie who brings his parrot as his guest; as well as an aging actress and her equally washed up boyfriend) travel toward the moon. Do they succeed? You’ll have to read the book.
"The Baby Boomers First-Hand,First-Year Guide to Retirement -365 Days of Bliss (???!!!:):) or Diss (Not???!!!:(:("
Ever wonder what really happens that first year after you retire? I’m talking about the day-to-day emotions, feelings, projects, questions, anxieties….the ups and downs of this very important next step in one’s life after some 25/30/35/40 years of formal work?
Well, my “The Baby Boomers First-Hand/First-Year Guide to Retirement…..365 Days of Bliss (???!!!) or Diss (Not???!!!)” could provide some insight for those recently retired or contemplating retirement. This 365 day (from January 17, 2013 to January 17, 2014) daily journal allows the reader to follow along as I experience the chores, the life; the new budgeting, the wife - the questions, the emotions; some answers and hopefully some solutions. “First-Hand” is an easy-to-read/fast page turner; a humorous collection of thoughts and stuff……..it does not hit you over the head with heavy retirement questions regarding pensions or 401(k) requirements; or statistics such as inflation projections, investment facts, tax shelters, financial formulas, etc… My book is simply a personal essay of my first 365 days of retirement, featuring real names and real people. Included are personal pictures and anecdotes of my 2013 journey that sheds light on the everyday minutia of retired life.
I love writing and telling stories as you can see. Besides my new children storybook collections , I just completed a teens and young adult revision of my first book entitles "Square Squire & the Journey to DREAMSTATE _ Version 2.) for Teens and Young Adults." Next up? I have a young adult/short story collection “Word Food for Doods” ready for publishing. I am also working on a novella about a jive/hipster dude cat called “Diddley Squatt.”
Featured Speaker at Compton 125th Historical Society Event
March 24, 2018
"Look out world. The wait is over. My dad has finally retired and to keep from going crazy - he wrote for one year straight year every day-365 days......I am so proud of him."
Daughter Arinn Filer